If your OCD includes asking for reassurance, then the people you ask will need to be involved in your exposure work.

Distraction - helping you to focus on something outside your fear, to remind you that the outside world is still there, for instance that girls got nice hair or did I tell you were going to paint the kitchen?. Now clench your stomach muscles tightly. Relax, and feel the difference. Within a short time I was returning to see my GP once more as I was now experiencing the constant sensation of adrenaline rushing round my body almost every second of the day. Ive tried prescribed medication, herbal remedies, homeopathy, hypnosis, CBT, counselling, relaxation, meditation, graded exposure and breathing exercises. Explain to the helper what your goal is, and what they can do to help you. It keeps me from taking on risky challenges because I know Ill fail at them. In Part Three you will learn how Anxiety affects your thinking, and learn some techniques for reducing anxious thoughts. Remember, whatever it is called, and whatever the circumstances which trigger it, the root is always Anxiety, and the way to recovery is similar. What will hap next? Using counter statements for negative core beliefs Examples Im powerless - I can control my life. Jog a few yards on the flat, repeat until comfortable. In the quest to be perfect someone with OCD can blame themselves for any thoughts they have which they judge to be bad thoughts and may feel they should be punished for having those thoughts. At this point you need to ask yourself - do I want to carry on as I am, living in the black hole of Anxiety, or do I want to take a small, carefully structured risk as a step along the road to recovery? Wouldn't you do everything in your power to help them? The top layer is the thoughts that arise because of what is haping in the here and now. Do you feel embarrassed in company, dread being the centre of attention, or dislike going to pubs or restaurants? Many of us are drawn to sugary foods, such as cakes, sweets, biscuits and chocolate. Ive been places I never thought Id go - I went to Old Trafford to see the flowers for the Munich memorial. When you first start on exposure work it can be helpful to adopt a range of coping skills. My coping strategies, or lack ofthem. This is a REAL disorder and should be respected as such.

Goals need to be realistic Are you an impatient person?

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Dont, whatever you do, belittle your achievements. It can seem so unfair to find yourself having to deal with this when youve already had so much on your plate, and specially when you were looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet. Press your head back, hard. Instead of I should . I used to rehearse it mentally, taking it step by step and always visualising a successful outcome. What he [the therapist] did recommend was that it was imperative to keep to a maintenance programme by practising the exercises I had been taught.For someone with OCD, exposure work focuses on the element of compulsion and its companion, avoidance. Finally, you will have learnt a set of lifetime skills that will keep you well, as long as you remember to use them. It might help to write these down on a small card to carry with you, to remind yourself. If you were living off caffeine and thin air, you already know that you need to change your diet. And yet recovering from Anxiety is not a smooth, steady process. One answer is to pump adrenalin into your system - not a good idea for someone with Anxiety. Telling someone about your anxiety problem Many sufferers tell only one person, usually their partner or a family member. This doesnt have to be a full breakfast, but once you are fully awake it is good to eat breakfast - it will give you energy for the next few hours. What is bad about the scene? Maybe you visit your doctor straight away, maybe you struggle on alone for as long as you can, but sooner or later you will be told that its Anxiety. I have done exposure work, when I was seeing a clinical psychologist. Key skill - accepting change The first key skill is accepting that change is necessary. Someone who suffered a setback when reducing the number of times they checked their cooker changed to the goal of restricting the amount of time they st checking - later they were able to return to the original goal. This doesnt mean that anyone with an Anxiety disorder will need to be religious before they can recover, but it does mean that you will need to look at that aspect of your life, and make sure that you are giving yourself what you need. Dealing with plateaux and setbacks For both plateaux and setbacks there are various things you can try: Take a break Did you attempt too much and tire yourself? You may feel that staying indoors or avoiding situations keeps you safe.

Except it was always going to stop whatever you did - fight-or-flight is a short term reaction remember.

Everybodys recovery moves at a different pace, and to a different rhythm. No wonder its hard to pick yourself up and find the energy for a recovery programme. Symptoms include: severe debilitating fatigue painful muscles and joints problems sleeping digestive problems poor memory poor concentration. Since breakfast is the most important meal of the day it is worth trying to manage it. Overestimating a bad outcome When you look into the future, you assume that there will always be a negative result to anything you do. Watch a video about a spider. All of the examples in this book are taken from real life, from the stories of people with Anxiety who either told us about their experiences or wrote them down for us. Just doing this will clarify your thoughts and may in itself make it clear what you want to do. When you read about the need for change, did you feel a stab of fear? Im an adult, Ill take responsibility now. Once you have set a boundary, communicate it clearly and stick to it. They often have low self-esteem and fears of rejection from others. Resent the way other people treat you. Is the danger really big enough to matter? Explain to them that you might not give very coherent answers to their remarks, and that this doesnt matter. Here is an example of one list for a family trying to decide whether to have a camping holiday in the UK or a package holiday in Spain. Lie down, or sit in a comfortable chair, and listen to the recording. Here are some suggestions: walk round the house or flat go up and down stairs, if available do housework use an exercise video or DVD use an exercise bike, or treadmill. Start by doing this exercise when you are sitting comfortably and when you are not particularly anxious. Its not this living nightmare that turns every minute of every day into a torment of worrying.

When everybody is encouraged to speak up then ideas soon start to flow.

With practice you will become quicker at spotting the negative thoughts and interrupting them. It has taken me the whole of the day. Supposing those hands had germs on them and someone got sick and it was all their fault for not washing their hands enough? I cant work so my income is low. The first step is just to allocate a level of importance to the decision. A notebook is better than a collection of scraps of paper, because sometimes youll want to look back and see how far youve progressed. Recovery largely consists of finding ways to first tolerate the sensations and then turn off the fight-or-flight system. Remember, whatever it is called, and whatever the circumstances which trigger it, the root is always Anxiety, and the way to recovery is similar. Assertiveness means being able to both meet your own needs and acknowledge the needs of other people. If only people knew what youre going through, then theyd have more sympathy, surely? In exposure work you choose to enter the situation that provokes your Anxiety in a controlled way. After the session - all anxiety disorders When youve finished the session, write it up in your notebook in the usual way. If someone I knew had this thought, what would I say to them? Also, NEVER try and give someone suffering from an Anxiety attack any type of prescription drugs that have not been prescribed by their family physician. What would I do if the worst haped? Along with other simple emotions such as excitement, curiosity or boredom they are usually spontaneous and short-lived. Name-calling We all beat ourselves up from time to time, using words like fool, idiot and maybe a few unprintable ones too, but Anxiety can persuade you to be far too hard on yourself, so that you constantly think things like Im so clumsy, so lazy, so forgetful and so on. In exposure work you choose to enter the situation that provokes your Anxiety in a controlled way. Especially if you are someone always in the public eye, such as Kim Basinger. This includes everyday functions such as attending class, going out to dinner at a restaurant, or even going to work.

Hopefully this is beginning to make a little more sense to you now.

Just let the attack happen naturally, and in most, if not all, cases, their bodies will help them come out of the 'hot' zone all on it's own. This record will provide you with a basis for comparison. Disappointment - if you havent come as far as you wanted. Key skill - breathing exercise one We will have more to say about breathing later, but for now here is a simple technique to practise. They are known as core beliefs and they can be very difficult to dig up, just like a dandelion root, but the unhelpful ones are feeding your Anxiety and probably making it difficult for you to complete your recovery. Dont worry if you havent managed all of these, because it does take time. If problems do persist way beyond the expected age or cause severe disruption to the childs everyday life and forming of relationships, some professional help and guidance may be needed. Medication damed them down but did not cure the problem in any way, shape or form. The medication that my GP had initially prescribed were giving me horrible side effects, they were actually making my symptoms feel worse, not better. If you were overwhelmed with fear when you tried to stop your rituals, then youll be terrified of cutting them down in future. If you are using an exercise video or DVD, try to find one that is not too challenging. Be sure to read it slowly, in a calm voice, and pause for several seconds at the end of each section. Your high anxiety makes it more likely that you will find yourself unable to say or do the things that you feel you should be doing, and more likely that you will continue to worry after the event that you have done or said something wrong. Does this belief contribute to my well-being or my peace of mind? No doubt they are busy people, and find it easier to go along with your immediate needs rather than take the time to help with recovery. It is simply an unannounced trigger that sets off one's “fight or flight” defense mechanism, kicks in the adrenaline, and BAM! When you were upset, did you cry? In exposure work you choose to enter the situation that provokes your Anxiety in a controlled way. Also keep occupied - have something in place for when you feel anxious, so that you wont do something which feeds the anxiety. I think parenting classes was one of the breakthroughs, of realising how I was making the same mistakes as my parents. It takes blood sweat and tears, and a lot of tears - but tears are alright, if you cry youre getting it out of your system. So youve reached the end of the book - or maybe youre having a quick peek at the end to see where the journey leads, or have skimmed through, dipping in and out. The items on their list are: cheapness, travel, weather, accommodation, adventure, beach. It doesnt mean acting in ways that are aggressive, bullying, threatening or manipulative.

Now repeat your goal - because you have done it before your physical Anxiety will be lower, and you will be able to pay attention to your thoughts.

Neither of these lists is in any particular order, because each individual will have their own ideas about what they might find easiest and hardest. I tried visualising myself playing the tape and being calm, but for once this didnt work for me. Your fingertips will move back together as you do this. These are explained in Chapter 2 You might look for evidence that you are liked - for instance: Are people generally pleased to see you? Seeing the doctor Quite simply, everyone needs to see a doctor to discuss their symptoms and get a diagnosis. To keep those horrible thoughts at bay. Over several weeks I wrote down all my negative thoughts, and then made a tape where I repeated them and challenged each one.Anxiety is charged with wilfully misinterpreting the world People with Anxiety tend to make assumptions based on their intense feelings of panic and fear. If you persevere with the lifestyle changes and set yourself SMART goals, then youll make the risk as tiny as possible. The result of this can be a permanent light-headed feeling, and fatigue. Use your notebook to keep records of your exposure work, scoring your Anxiety on a scale of 0-10. Take the phone off the hook, switch off your mobile. Without warning. Remember, goals have to be SMART. Take the bus for five stops, sitting apart from helper. Next time youll feel even more keen to escape, and soon a pattern is established. Never think that you are going through this alone. Resent the way other people treat you. Explain to the helper what your goal is, and what they can do to help you. If you dont like the idea of listening to a strange voice, then you can record your own voice, or ask a trusted person to record it for you. If you continue with your healthy lifestyle, and your positive thinking, continue to be more assertive in dealing with other people and continue to release feelings instead of bottling them up, then you will change in ways that you would not have thought possible.